Sherlock, I Love You (Johnlock)
by IfIDiedYoungWouldYouNotice
Summary: Sherlock waltzed back into Johns life after his "death". John was experiencing nightmares, and only Sherlock can help subside the pain with. They start to experience something, something they're both afraid of. Love. John has bad experiences with it, and Sherlock has never had this feeling. Both cling to each other for what they feel is a dream, reality scaring them. Johnlock.
1. Chapter 1

I dreamed something bad last night. One second I was staring up into a blue sky, birds chirping in the distance, white fluffs of clouds forming abstract shapes above my head. I suppose I was laying in the grass, though I didn't really have time to look around. The sky felt off, making me want to stare at it even longer. The white clouds changed color. Turning a dark grey, and soon the sky changed color too. There were no birds chirping anymore, and the sky had turned charcoal black.

"John."

I didn't have to look around to see whose voice that was. Sherlock. His baritone voice haunted my thoughts, even though it shouldn't, it did. It had been almost a month since Sherlock waltzed back into my life as though nothing happened, and I broke. I broke when he returned, so I had to hit him. And hit him I did, and the following week I broke up with Mary. I told her I couldn't be in a relationship right now because things were happening, and she just smiled and said that it was okay, even though she was crying.

"John." Sherlock's voice made me shudder in fear, but why fear? Why was I afraid of my best friend? I couldn't respond, my mouth feeling dry and full of dirt.

"John. I need to tell you something. Something I should have said a long time ago." I listened, my throat closing around my words.

"John Hamish Watson I..." I felt my heart start to race, as I waited for him to finish, but he wouldn't be able to. The sky above me began to shatter, giant rips in the sky made me feel like I was watching the world end in front of me. A bright white explosion erupted in front of me, causing me to yelp out in surprise.

I awoke with a start, covered in sweat and clinging to my sheets. My dream ended badly, though i couldn't remember what happened in it. I heard a soft knock at my door, and I snapped my head to the noise. It was still dark, I glanced at my clock. The bold red letters read 3:50, in the morning. I heard another knock, and a voice followed after.

"John?" I got up to answer, dragging my blanket along with me.

"Sherlock?" I said as I opened the door, light from the hallway filling my room and causing me to flinch. I saw the tall man before me in his blue robe, grey shirt, and sweats. His hair was a giant mess of black curls, telling me that he was probably asleep before he decided to check on me. His blue eyes looked tired as they looked at me, making me wonder if he had barley fallen asleep.

"John.." Sherlock began," I heard you calling out my name, was there something you needed?" I stared at him for a while, just looking at his figure. His sharp cheekbones and tall figure. I drank all of it up. After a while I finally responded.

"I...called to you? When?" I gave him a sincere confused look," I don't remember calling to you Sherlock."

"You probably did it in your sleep, causing me to wake up." He ran a hand through his hair and ruffled it a bit, sighing out. "What did you dream about?" He suddenly asked. I shifted from one foot to the other, running my tongue over my lips swiftly.

"I don't really remember, I only remember seeing clouds and a bright light. Then, well...I woke up sweating and panting like I ran a marathon." I could feel the cool air hitting where I was damp on my arms and neck, and tried not to shiver.

"Joh-"

"Sher-" We both began to speak, but stopped and stared at each other, waiting to see who would talk first. Sherlock's lips were parted, and he was leaning against my door frame. "Go ahead, you first," I whispered to him, his face relaxed a bit, lines disappearing within seconds.

"Right," he cleared his throat and stood up correctly, running a hand through his hair. "I was just wondering..." he mumbled something and I couldn't hear him, even though it was only the two of us talking. Sherlock was looking down at his feet, sorta like a school boy who got caught doing something bad, and was getting scolded.

"Can you repeat the last part?" I asked, and Sherlock sighed. He looked me dead in the eyes, absorbing me in. I didn't notice before that there were red rims around his eyes, as though he were rubbing his eyes a lot, or maybe worse, crying.

"I was wondering," Sherlock began, snapping me out of the trance I was under while I looked into his beautiful eyes," if I may accompany you to sleep. I mean if you were to call out my name again, from a nightmare of course, then I may help you. Yet, I cannot if I am in the other room. So, the only logical thing to do is allow me to sleep in the same bed as you."

I was stunned, Sherlock Holmes was asking to share a bed with me. He was avoiding eye contact, which was unusual for his normal cool composure. Yet, at a time this early in the morning, it didn't surprise him. I sighed, and tried to suppress a smile, which Sherlock duly noted as he started to stare at me, waiting for a response.

"That does sound like a good idea, doesn't it?" I could see a look of excitement flash over his face, then was replaced by his mask of no emotion.

"So, is that a yes John?" His baritone voice ran through my ears, making me shiver with anticipation. I licked my lips and suddenly felt nervous, we were about to share a bed.

"Yes, Sherlock. As long as you also get some sleep." I turned away and made my way to my bed, sliding under the covers. Sherlock slowly walked in, closing the door behind him. As he approached I felt my heart race, and then he was next to me. The bed shifted as he laid down, his warmth next to me, making me want to snuggle up to him. I had to restrain myself, afraid it might creep the other male out, but I couldn't help but look at him. It may have been dark but there was moonlight seeping from a window near the bed, and it made Sherlock looked like the most perfect person ever. We were facing each other, and staring at one another. The moonlight made his already prominent cheekbones stick out more, his cupid-bow lips slightly parted, and his piercing blue eyes read my every thought. As we stared at each other under the covers, I felt my thoughts swim about, and thought about Sherlock. His breath, his closeness, his warmth, his scent... The smell of soap and cigarette on his skin. I wanted to get closer, to wrap my hand around him and breath him in.

"Goodnight...John." I heard Sherlock say, snapping me out of my thoughts. I mumbled a goodnight back to him, and I could tell he was smirking.

We were much closer now and I could feel his breath on my lips, I was staring at them. those perfectly shaped lips, so kissable. How I itched to kiss them, for the longest time I felt like this, wanting to be this close to Sherlock. I felt myself start to drift back to sleep, the sound of Sherlock's easy breathing relaxing me. I felt an arm wrap around me, and I just snuggled closer smiling.

"I...you," I barley heard him say, but I couldn't respond, nor could I hear part of what he said.

I slipped into slumber, wrapped into Sherlock's arms, and I didn't have another nightmare that night. Just sweet bliss of sleep, and warmth of kisses Sherlock was giving me every now and then. I was too comfortable to even care, and since it was Sherlock, it felt right.

And the rest of that night, I had a wonderful dream.


	2. Chapter 2

I can't believe me and John are currently sharing a bed. I mean, I knew he would say yes to me, but it still surprised me at how shy I was acting. I tried to sleep, but I couldn't, not with John next to me. His light breathing was music to my ears, and the fact that we were snuggling makes everything better. I had my face in his hair as he was in my chest, he smelled of sandalwood and aftershave. Somehow this was rather calming to me, and I relaxed more. I smiled as I thought of how I infiltrated his room, the shyness, awkwardness, and the fact that I could read John like a book. Then again I could read anyone, people were so easy to read, leaving their emotions all over their face.

Yet, John made it more exciting. His neverending rollercoaster of emotion, allowing me to drink up what he's thinking. I could never get enough of his face, the crinkle his forehead does when he's thinking, the licking of his lips when he's nervous or pondering something. The way his brown eyes sparkle whenever we go on an adventure, everything about John Watson makes me want to cherish all the details about him. To twist him, to make him yearn for me, want only me, I want him to be spoiled and deprived all at once, allowing me to get a reaction out of him. As I laid in the dark, I felt myself start to drift into sleep. I wouldn't allow it, but John's warm as I hugged him was so relaxing. I never wanted to let him go, I wanted to stay like this forever.

I placed a kiss on his head, and relished in his scent nuzzling my face into it. I felt him sigh as he snuggled deeper into my chest. I stroked his back, wishing he were shirtless so I could touch and caress his skin. Ever since I got back from being dead that's all I have been wanting to do. My apparent death broke my doctor, his nightmares returned, his depression worsened. Yet, he found happiness with a woman, and I felt a pang of jealousy develop within me. When Mycroft told me my doctor had moved on, I was hurt. So hurt, I couldn't help but want to lock him up and hide him within my walls, but I just wanted John to be happy.

When I saw him sitting there waiting for the woman he was going to propose to, in the restaurant, I froze. I wanted to smash our lips together, to hold him, to possess him, to steal him away in the night. But, instead I got punched in the face, and I saw anger written all over that mans face. I never saw it directed towards me, the mass anger he held stabbed my heart. And now, here we were, wrapped in a cocoon of warmth in each others arms. I had so much to say to him, but for right now, I am content.

"Sherl…"I heard John grumble into my chest, I continued to rub his back. I lightly pressed my lips to the top of his head again, as he mumbled my name.

"Mmmm...Sherlock.." I froze. John just moaned out my name. I tried not to let the sweet noise get to me, but now I was all ears to John. What was he dreaming about?

"John," I whispered, trying to wake him up. But I stopped myself. This was the first time I hadn't heard one of John's dreams turn to a nightmare, and I didn't want to ruin it. I tried to sleep, but every other hour John either mumbled my name or moaned it. And, I didn't want to miss hearing it. My name rolling off his tongue seemed so right to me, so I just listened. And when John awoke the next morning, I finally shut my eyes to pretend to be asleep. I wan't tired, but I wanted him to think I got some sort of sleep.

He saw right through me, typical. There were times I could fool my dear old doctor, but apparently not right now. I heard him sigh as he awoke, sitting up, I pretended to yawn and rubbed my eyes.

"You didn't sleep did you?" He asked as I had my eyes shut, I snapped them open.

"Ye-" I began.

"No, you didn't. Don't lie to me Sherlock." He interrupted. I studied his face, he was wearing sleep, and a bit of irritation.

"Fine," I said, sitting up. I ran a hand through my hair," I couldn't seem to sleep, and I am sorry."

"Why not?" He asked, running a hand over his face, I noted the hint of guilt on his face. Does he remember what he was dreaming about?

"I just couldn't John now, it's no big deal. I've gone days without sleep, no big deal." I started to get up, but john grabbed the sleeve of my sleeve.

"it is a big deal Sherlock! You need sleep, it's not healthy if you don't sleep!" His face was riddled with worry, and I sighed.

"John, if I wanted sleep I would've gotten some. Now, please stop worrying." I soften my eyes, and John dropped his gaze, still clinging to my sleeve.

"I-i'm sorry..." He whispered, causing me to feel my chest tighten.

"No..Don't apologize. I should be sorry." I sat back up on the bed and John scooted closer. I placed my hand on his back and John smiled up at me.

"Sherlock...I need to tell you something.." I rubbed his back and John shut his eyes, leaning closer to me as I moved closer to him. I stared at him waiting for him to finish his sentence, but a I already had an idea of what he would say.

"Yes?" I said in my low voice, making John lower his gaze to my lips.

"I...I love you Sherlock Holmes..." I felt my lips curve up into a smile, and I slowly lowered my head down to meet my doctors lips. It was like the world went still, the feel of John's lips against my own felt so perfect. He tasted so sweet, even though neither of us had brushed our teeth, and I felt him lick my bottom lip, asking for entrance. I smiled, but didn't grant him access. I pulled away, and Johns face set me aback. His eyes were full blown pupil, and his breathing was ragged, cheeks flushed and he swiped his tongue over his mouth.

"I need you." I said in my throat, his emotions were like a drug to me, making me want him to experience all of them, the good and bad ones.

"Oh..Sherlock..." John was about to lean in again, but I stopped him.

"Tonight love, not right now. I want to do things to you that will change our relationship, forever. I want you to get prepared for this...I'm not sure if you really want to do this...So, i'm giving you time. And, I shall prepare a few things."I saw John start to process my words, his face shifting to an expression of thought.

"Right..." He said, making me place a hand on his cheek. "I understand. Though I already know my decision." He said, looking me in the eyes. I pecked him once more on the lips before we both got up, and John went for a shower while I sat in the sitting room. I went through my phone to see if Lestrade or Mycroft texted me, and saw I received a message from Lestrade.

**_Woman found dead in bedroom, no signs of struggle. Bound and gagged. Stabbed almost 50 times. Need help._**

I felt a smile creep up onto my face and called to John.

"John! We have a case!" I shouted out, running about to get ready.

"What?" John shouted through the door.

"The game is on!" I shouted back, louder. I heard the water suddenly shut off, and I smiled wickedly. The game is most certainly on.


	3. Chapter 3

As we exited the cab, me paying of course, I couldn't help but stare at the tall man who was strolling in front of me. The street was blocked off by yellow tape, and police cars. Pedestrians stood in the way of us and our crime scene. A murder in the suburbs, very rare, especially in this part of London. Tall brownstone buildings all the around, trees, dogs barking in the distance, the grey sky above us. As we made our way through the crowd of people, I noticed Donovan standing about talking to an officer, laughing.

Professional, I thought bitterly. Sherlock was waiting for me, holding the yellow tape up so I could go under. I smiled and muttered a thank you to him, causing him to smile briefly, but it soon faded as soon as it had come. We tried to walk past Donovan, but she noticed approaching us going up the steps.

"Hey, freak!" She shouted after Sherlock, causing him to flinch. I noticed as we stopped and turned to talk to Sally, that Sherlock had to put up with people calling him names. I never realized that it hurt him, as it would hurt any other person.

"Donovan." Sherlock greeted duly, avoiding eye contact with her. It wasn't that he was scared of her, he just didn't like to look at people who couldn't handle his smarts.

"Detective Inspector Lestrade is very puzzled by this one, seems that she didn't struggle, so she probably knew the perp. Oh-" Sherlock cut her off, holding up a gloved hand. He looked her in the eyes, and seemed bored.

"Stop right there, I'd prefer to hear it from the detective inspector himself, if you don't mind." I shifted from foot to foot, waiting patiently for us to finish up this awkward conversation.

"Well,"I chimed in, stopping Donovan from saying anything else," we'd better go check it out for ourselves...You know, the dead body and stuff." She turned to me, looking me up and down, then smiled.

"Right, dead body." She said, and with that I tugged on Sherlock's sleeve, and turned away, walking up the steps to the flat.

"John." Sherlock said, when we entered the flat. It look much bigger on the inside, and very clean. Wooden floors, white furniture, a chandelier above our heads, and a fancy looking staircase that lead upstairs. "John." Sherlock repeated, I snapped my head toward him, not realizing I wasn't paying attention.

"Sorry, what were you saying?" I muttered as I spoke. I looked up at Sherlock, who had his 'I'm deducing what you're thinking' face. I swallowed hard, was something wrong with my face? Did I seem out of it?

"I was just asking if you were okay.." He stared at me, his blue eyes like an endless ocean of blue and grey.

"Ah, yes. I'm quite alright. Though I should be asking you that, you've never asked me if I were okay before." I joked, but his face just had confusion written all over it. Sherlock was about to open his mouth, when we heard a familiar voice from above the stairs.

"Excuse me, dead body here, crime scene." Lestrade was standing atop the stairs, staring down at us, arms across his chest.

"Right." Sherlock and I said in unison, then looked at each other in confusion. I started to blush because I heard Lestrade chuckle, causing Sherlock to sigh in boredom.

Sherlock strode up the stairs with his long legs, me following behind. When we entered the room where the woman was killed, I noticed Anderson wasn't anywhere to be found, which was a good thing. The victim was in her bed, her arms were hog tied behind her back, and she had something in her mouth. There was not so much blood everywhere, I expected more, due to how many times she was stabbed, but there was only a bit. Sherlock was already near her body, a small smirk on his face, as he inspected her.

Her body was small, probably 5'3, her hair dark brown, and her glassy blue eyes were looking up to the ceiling. Her head was at a weird angle, and her lips looked red and torn as though they were bitten. She was wearing a blue silk nightgown, which was torn, showing her breasts and blood was pooling underneath her.

"Whoever did this is a real sadist." Lestrade stated, I nodded in agreement, and Sherlock chuckled.

"Yes she is." He said, causing me to look up at him.

"She?" I questioned, getting closer to the body so I could examine it. She appeared to be dead for more than 12 hours, rigor set in, her eyes were bloodshot red from being strangled, and the lack of blood meant she was most likely stabbed after death.

"Yes, she." Sherlock began." The way this woman was tied was unprofessionally, as though it weren't meant to be tight. Most likely a bondage fetish with her and her lover, likely went bad going by her dying. Anyways, she went unconscious from lack of air, and then choked on her vomit. The rope around her neck was too tight, and the other person didn't notice, until she wasn't moving or making any more noise." Sherlock was beside me as he spoke about what happened, and I felt him run his hand down my back when no one was looking. I shivered under his touch, and he smirked looking at me with hunger in his eyes.

"I need you.."

His voice ran through my head from this morning, and I gasped when he slowly moved his hand down to ghost over my arse. Lestrade looked over and Sherlock moved his hand away, scowling at the floor. I was blushing like a mad man, and Lestrade gave me a questioning look.

"Anything else?" Lestrade asked.

"Ah, right. Her lover is her sister, bit of incest sounds good doesn't it? Well anyways, you should arrest her for murder." He stated simply before turning and walking out of the room. I stood there stunned for a good minute before saying something.

"How did you know it was her sister?" I asked as I turned to chase after him. Sherlock was at the bottom of the stairs, on his phone.

"John, it was her sister due to her not being married, nothing but pictures of her and her sister all around," I looked around and he was right, there was only pictures of them two around," and also, I found her diary. Which only talks about her and her sister, plus some other things." He pulled a small blue book out from his coat pocket and held it out to me. I took it in my hands and sighed."Oh! Right and the sister left this behind too," he had a pink nail from his pocket also," seems she lost it when tying the sister up."

"Sherlock, we need to talk. About this morning...And what you just did…" I blushed, looking at Sherlock as he held a smile on his face.  
>"John, I already told you. I need you, all the time. I tried to keep my distance earlier, but I couldn't. So I had to calm myself, and I touched you. I am sorry if it was a bad time. I'll try to control myself more next time." I smiled at his words.<p>

"No, it was okay. Just surprised me was all. Though it was dangerous, because if Lestrade would've killed us if he found out what you were up to." I smiled and chuckled, causing Sherlock to do the same.

"So, this case was simple then?" I heard Lestrade coming up to us, and turned to him. His face looked tired, and he had bags under his eyes and stubble on his face.

"Yes," Sherlock simply said." and I told you not to bother me for anything more than a 5, or at least a 7." I heard Lestrade sigh, and held out the diary to him.

"This has everything you need," I said to him, and he sighed.

"So, why did the sister stab her then?" He asked Sherlock, and I turned to him.

"To make it look like a murder; it was a hasty job due to her being scared. If you take a look at the wounds they were made after she was dead, to make it look like someone killed her for revenge or something. I mean how would you feel if you killed your sister during sex? I guess she didn't notice how sloppy of a job she did, now please can you go and arrest her. She might try to leave the country for all we know." He turned around and strode out of the building, once again having the last word. I said goodbye to Lestrade and ran after my mystery man. Sherlock was already hailing a cab down, and got into it. I sat across from him and told the cabbie our address.  
>The entire way home Sherlock was staring at me with this hunger in his eyes, making me shift under his gaze. Every now and then I would lick my lips and Sherlock would stare at my lips, I heard him mutter something under his breath probably to make me feel what he was feeling.<p>

"You drive me crazy when you do that." He said, causing me to blush furiously.

The drive back was agonizingly slow, and Sherlock was practically undressing me with his gaze. It was so hot, I could feel my cheeks burning. I could tell he was turned on, and he noticed how that affected me. A smile played on his lips, his eyes so intense with lust. I knew we weren't even close to being home, so I suddenly turned to the cabbie and held out a few bills.

"Get us there in less than 20 minutes and it's all yours." I said. The cabbie eyed the bills and nodded his head, driving a bit faster than originally.

"The game is on, my dear doctor..." Sherlock said in a deep voice, causing my pants to twitch in delight.


	4. Chapter 4

When we finally reached our flat, we busted through the door lips locked together. A battle for dominance very apparent between the both of us, and I won. John had given up, allowing me to explore his mouth further. As we snogged like high schoolers in the middle of the doorway, I realized that it wasn't time for us to do this yet. I wanted the beginning of our relationship to be something special. Not just a quick fucking, but John's body against mine felt too good to ruin it. Yet, I had to confirm this was what he wanted.

"John," i moaned, moving my lips to his neck and kissing the skin of his collar bone. "Are you sure?..." I kissed his collarbone, the sweet succulent skin making me want to bite hard into it, to see it bruise and bleed.

"Sherlock, oh god yes...I want you." I looked up to the man before me. Honest beauty is what he possesed, making me want to never let him go. His eyes were clouded with lust and passion, his lips wet from our hard snogging. I felt something break inside me when he said those words, maybe my will, maybe my sanity. All I knew was that he consented, and I needed him to. Granting my wish he opened the door for my twisted fantasies that I wanted us both to experience, my dirty thoughts clouding my mind.

"John," I moved up to his ear whispering in it," you don't know what I want to do to you. all the things I want you to do to me, the thought gets me so turned on." I licked the shell of his ear as I started to unbutton his shirt, feeling the skin underneath. I played with one of his nipples, pinching and twisting it lightly till it got perky and hard.

I felt John place a hand on the hem of my trousers, fumbling with the buttons. I smirked, and ripped off his shirt throwing it somewhere. I needed his warmth, I needed him.

"Sherlock…" He moaned when I started to kiss him again. I massaged his tongue with my own, deepening the passionate bliss we were in. I pushed him against the wall pinning him there, kissing him with all my being. I felt John wrap his arm around my neck bringing us so close, his bare chest touching my clothed one. I had my hands on his hips, grinding my leg between his, feeling him get hard against me.

"Let me get this off." I growled against his lips, and John frantically helped me take off my purple shirt, tossing it away also, never once breaking our kiss. His hands were all over me in an instant, touching me and running his hands through my hair. I felt him make his way back down to my trousers, and pulled the zipper down, sliding his hand into my trousers. I moaned out in pleasure as he rubbed me through my pants.

"Oh...John." I moaned out, unraveling under his touch. I felt him smile, and broke away from the kiss, both of our chests heaving.

"You like it like that?" John huskily said, he was looking me straight in the eyes, his face full blown with lust. As he rubbed his hand up and down against my pants I couldn't help but moan out John's name, resting my head on his shoulder. I began to kiss and suck on his shoulder, creating a love bite on his perfect skin. I moved to his neck, collarbone, any skin I felt I sucked on, creating small bruises upon him. As he rubbed me I wanted him to put his hand in my pants, but didn't want to press him to do it.

"John...I can't...I need to be in you." I growled into his skin. I felt him laugh and he pulled back his hand, making me whimper in disagreement. I brought our lips together again, slowly moving our lips together we shared a sweet kiss. I took my chance and pushed our hardened groins together, causing us to moan into each others mouths. I slowly thrusted my hard on, onto his, in a slow rocking motion. John tangled his hands into my hair again and lightly tugged on it, making me growl and I pulled away.

"I would say 'Bed. Now.' But, I can't hold it….So, instead,'Couch. Now." I slipped my hand into his, and led him upstairs in a storm of snogging. When we finally reached our sitting room, I started to pull his trouser down, and he pulled mine down, never breaking our kiss. I finally pulled his zipper down, and lifted him up into my arms. I turned and settled myself onto the plush couch, John settling into my lap. Kissing him tenderly, I pulled away and looked him into the eyes.

"You're so beautiful, John." I whispered to him, causing him to blush.

"No need to be modest, Sherlock. You don't need to say those things…" He stated, smiling at me, causing me to furrow my eyebrows.

"John...You told me never to lie to you, so I won't. I am sorry if my opinion is a bit too much, but I am just being truthful." I pecked John oh his lips and and saw how lustful his eyes were. I smirked evilly. "Now..Enough talk...We should continue, right love?" I lowered my hands to his hips and slowly started to push his trousers off his pants, his butt sliding out as they lowered. I massaged his ass with my hands, and I felt John shiver under my touch.

"God...Sherlock… You bloody tease…" He moaned out. John was holding onto my shoulders, and had his head in the crook of my neck. His breath was hot against my neck, he was also pushing his butt out into my hands.

I finally couldn't handle my erection anymore, john's constant moaning was driving me crazy and I needed him. I pulled John's red pants down, his bare arse showing.

"Let me get you out of these," I whispered into his ear. He whimpered in agreement, as he shifted, allowing me to pull off his trousers and pants. I felt my erection strain against my pants, the sight of John's cock bounce out of his pants made we want to devour him.

As he hovered over me, stark naked, I couldn't help but stare. I felt like I could come just from looking at him. He kissed me, and I felt his hands starting to pull my hard erection out of my pants.

"Stretch me." John breathed out, as he grasped my dick into his hand.

"Yes, my dear doctor." I replied, moving my right hand in front of his face. I stuck out two finger, and slowly touched John's lips. "Lick." I ordered, gasping as I felt John start to move his hand up and down my shaft. He took the digits into his mouth, wrapping his tongue around them.

When they were wet enough, I slid my fingers out of his mouth, and moved them down to his arse. I circled his arsehole, before I slowly plunged my fingers into the man before me. I heard John hiss in pain, and start to slowly kiss his neck. As I slowly stretched him, I felt him twitch on the the inside, squeezing me lightly. John was slowly jerking me off, making me moan against his skin.

I curled my fingers and heard John cry out, his breathing was ragged and his voice was like music to my ears.

"Sherlock! Please…." he moaned out my name," I need you…"

I smiled and brought my lips to his, kissing him roughly. I felt John flick the tip of my penis with his thumb, spreading my precum around the shaft of my penis. I moaned into his mouth, and plunged my fingers deeper into him, all the way to the knuckles. I slid my fingers out, causing John to shiver and whine in protest. I kissed him roughly, our tongues dancing together. I pulled John closer to me, my hands on his hips, placing his hole right over my erection.

"Here we go love.." I whispered aggressively to him. And with that, I plunged into the loose flesh of my lover. I saw stars all around me, as I felt the warm wet flesh squeeze tightly around my throbbing erection. I stayed put as John got adjusted, his hands digging into the skin on my shoulders, I hissed in the mix of pain and pleasure. We both were breathing like animals, and moaning sweet nothings to each other.

"Sherlock...move...please." And I adjusted myself, to where I was able to hit his prostate, thrusting up into his body I attacked the bundle of nerves. John moaned really loud as I fucked him senseless. Bucking my hips up, I thrusted deep into him. The heat and sounds emitting from the both of us was intoxicating, making me want to draw more out from him. The sound of John's arse slapping against my thighs, the sound echoing about. John pushed his hips down against my thrusts emitting more pleasure, from the look on John's face I seemed to be doing a good job.

John suddenly moved his hand and started to touch himself, and I had a clear view of it.

"Sher-...I'm com-" John moaned out, and soon he cried out, releasing into his hand. The heat clamped around my erection, along with my hard thrusting into John's body sent me over the edge.

"John!" I yelled out, gripping his thighs so hard, I might've let bruises on them as I released into him. I slowly thrusted into John, riding my orgasm out. We were panting against each other, our bodies all sweaty and covered in semen. John collapsed against me, our foreheads against each other, our bodies wasted. I slowly pulled out of John as we began to lay on the couch. I wrapped my arms around my lover, bringing us close to each other.

John sighed in content as we laid together, skin against skin.

"Mrs. Hudson will probably yell her head off when she sees us..." John mumbled against my chest, causing me to laugh in agreement.

"Ah, yes. Then she'll notice the mess we made and probably say 'I'm not your housekeeper.' Then clean up after us.." I replied, causing John to giggle at me.

I placed a kiss on his forehead, and felt him tracing a pattern on my back.

"Sherlock...what are we now?" John asked quietly.

"Well...I would assume by the fucking we just did, we would be considered lovers? Or in a relationship...I mean...If you want." I muttered the last part, causing John to laugh again.

"Sherlock...I would've expected you to predict, that by letting you fuck me...I was hoping that would be confirming our relationship." I noticed John's ears were red, and chucked as he buried his face deeper into my chest. I rubbed his back up and down, feeling John's rising and falling chest against mine.

"You're right, John..." I finally said," and I just want to say something. John Hamish Watson, I love you... And I am sorry..." I felt John stiffen under me, but I continued," And I am sorry, that it took me...2 years, for me to say it, after everything I put you through-" I felt John suddenly get up, breaking away from me. His eyes were red, and tears were rolling down his face, making me sit up fast.

"Shut up.." John whispered, almost inaudible.

"Joh-" I began, but got cut off by John suddenly yelling.

"STOP!" He shouted, making me cringe. His chest was heaving, face beet red, and he was shaking a bit. He seemed to calm a bit down, his eyes softening a bit. "Just stop...Don't apologize Sherlock..." He seemed to be confused as to why he was angry, and it concerned me.

"John..." I reached for him, flinching under my touch he looked up at me." I have to say this, to clear everything..." But John just held up his hand, his face a blank mask of emotion. I felt my heart drop due to me never seeing him like this, and it scared the hell out of me.

"I need to think...I'm sorry Sherlock...I..I love you. But I need to be alone for a while." Before I could even respond, John was already getting up, and bent to pick up his clothes off the floor. Not turning to face me he stalked up to his room, slamming the door to his room. I didn't know I was holding my breath, until I felt suddenly alone. I was only in my trousers, but I felt a sudden cold from the lack of heat form where John was. I sat there stunned for a bit, until I finally was thinking in circles. Frustrated, I stood, and walked over to my violin stand and picked up my violin. I picked up my bow and nestled my violin under my chin.

I played my heart out, the raw emotion I felt enveloping me. I swear I heard a slight muffled sobbing, but I was too heart broken to confirm it... I played through the day, and when the moon rose high in the sky I continued to play...Waiting for John to come down the stairs that separated us.


	5. Chapter 5

It has been a week, by my count. A week of John not talking to me, and John locking himself away in his room. It had been a week with no company, no meals John would force me to eat. It had been a week, and the man I upset could still be heard sobbing whenever I begin to play my violin. I approached his door up the stairs a few times, just standing in front of it. I never knocked, but I always heard the light sniffling and sobbing of the grown man. I felt my chest tighten, knowing I was the cause of his suffering, the reason why he was crying. It was also a week of neverending nightmares for John, a horrible time for him not allowing me to help.

I would stand by the windows, looking out to the London streets. When the sun would go down, and the moon rose above the buildings, I would pick up my violin and play. I played anything that came to mind, the weeping of the melodies expressing the hurt and raw emotion I felt.

"Sherlock, dear?" I heard Mrs. Hudson come up the stairs, the sound of tea cups, clanking on a tray she was carrying. I pulled the bow across the strings, emitting a high pitched sound.

I didn't reply, and continued to play my sorrowful song.

"Oh...Sherlock, did you two have a domestic?" Mrs. Hudson asked, still getting no answer out of me. She sighed, the sounds of her heels scraping the wood as she turned to leave, but stopped. "John...He was worse off than all of us were, Sherlock." She waited a bit for me to respond, but I just listened." When you were gone...I heard him call out your name for the first few months. He would yell out and cry, he would not eat anymore. It were like he had given up...But when you came back, I noticed a light shine in his eyes...One that I haven't seen in a very long time. Give him some time love...He moved on, but when you came back...I suppose you can say Mary was your substitute? No, that would be rude to her."

By now, I was looking at Mrs. Hudson, she had her lips pursed thinking.

"I understand…" I muttered, Mrs. Hudson's eyes locking with mine.

"I hope you do love, he's in a very fragile state...Assuming all that ruckus I heard the other night, he might've started to over think something when you confessed your love….But what do I know, i'm only your landlady." She lowered her gaze to the violin in my hand. "I hear you all day and night… So, of course he'll hear you…He must've missed it so much, your music." She whispered the last part, making me flinch.

I turned away, sighing loudly. Raising the violin and bow, taking a deep breath, I began to play. Mrs. Hudson left the room, muttering words I didn't bother to listen to. I faced the setting sun, waiting for the moon to come up.

I don't really remember how long I was playing the same song over and over for, but I stopped when the moon was high in the night sky. I stopped because I heard the floorboards creaking, and I knew it was John. I turned, and of course I was right. He was wearing a gray shirt and blue pajama pants, his hair was a mess. He had bags under his eyes, he looked gruff and unshaven. I felt a pain in my chest. I should look like that, not him. I have never seen this heterosexual man look like this before, I felt like we switched roles.

"Sherlock." He started. I swallowed hard, looking into his brown eyes. He cleared his throat, shifting from foot to foot. Apparent nervousness as he licked his lips, rubbing his hands together. "I need to apologize for my actions on these last couple of days...My attitude was horrible... And my sudden anger, my outburst..was uncalled for. And for that...I am sorry, Sherlock." He licked his lips, avoiding eye contact with me.

"John.." I whispered, stepping closer to him. He jumped at how close I got, but I just felt myself smile. " I..Well I said all those things...because I thought that..well I thought that since I had you in my arms..." I broke off, feeling the words hard to come out.

" I shouldn't have blown up... I was just so sad...Everything seemed so surreal. And I feared that I would wake up, and everything would've been a dream...And you would still be dead..." I rubbed John's back, he squeezed me.

"John. I promise that will never happen. I will always be here..." I felt myself begin to shudder, and then I felt a wetness on my face. "I'm here..." I whispered over and over to John, hugging his body close to mine. So close I felt like I would break him, but for right now I just wanted to share the same space with him.

"I know...I know..." I heard John sniffle, and felt him place a hand in my hair.

We stood there, crying into each others arms.

"Sherlock...I've had the worst of nightmares..." John said, causing me to look at him." You were still dead...I was all alone. And when I would a wake, I would hear your violin playing...And I would die, because it messed with my sanity...Sometimes I couldn't even tell fantasy from reality...I-i had to think though, about everything that's happened." I pulled away from him, holding him in front of me.

"I know...I can tell John," I softly caressed the side of his face, holding it there as he quietly looked at me. "You need your rest...And I intend to be there with you while you sleep...So I can wake you from your night terrors..." I suddenly felt shy as we looked into each others eyes. I just asked to share a bed with John...Again.

John smiled widely, a genuine smile, filling me up with a sensation of peace.

"Oh God, yes." He simply said, grabbing my hand and leading us up to his room. And for those with a dirty mind, we did nothing. We simply went under the covers...And held each other. As though if we were to let go, we would die. We lazily gave kisses to one another, and whispered the occasional 'I love you'. And I felt at peace, and I hoped John felt the same.

After a while John's kisses stopped and his 'I love you's would somewhat be slurred with sleep, and soon his breathing was soft. I felt his breath against my neck, relaxing me as he slept in my arms.

"Goodnight John..." I whispered into his hair, kissing him lightly feeling my eyelids get heavy. I hadn't slept all but a few hours over the course of this week, my mind jumbled with ways to get John to talk to me again. And I was correct about the 'giving him space' method, it was all he needed.

"Sherlock, I love you..." He whispered back to me sleepily, making me smile.

"And I love you, John." I spoke back to him.

_And that night, and all other nights ahead of us, we slept in each others arms, clinging for sanity of our love. A love that unlike anything else, of course even these cliche words can make you doubt. But what Dr. John Hamish Watson and I had, will live on written in the stars, written in untold history, and written in books..._


End file.
